Yerevan: ?? days left
Yerevan: ?? days left
I just finished watching the new season of Emily in Paris. I’m waiting for the research to write papers on how perfect this series reflects the world we are leaving in now. It’s a perfect reflection of Baudrillard - it is a nothing, it is marketing, it is air, there is no meaning, but it still exists and somehow impacts people’s life.
I haven’t been very active here. I stopped writing. Maybe I started living? I don’t know. It’s the first time in my life when I have a boyfriend. Okay, the second. And it feels… weird? I still can’t fully digest this news. It feels as if I’m playing a role-play, I’m a girlfriend and he’s a boyfriend. I feel good with him, and he feels good with me, and we spent quite a lot of time together. But he went to his country for Christmas which is in another part of the world. The part of the world I can’t wait to see – Latin America. Am I dating him just because he is Argentinian? I’ve been thinking about it a lot. In the end, I think just a lot of things came together and matched.
Today very unexpectedly I had a dream with A. I haven’t seen him for a long time. I haven’t heard from him. I just saw that he didn’t listen to my last voice message, but he opened the message after many months. Maybe just reducing the unread messages count in WhatsApp. I was thinking about him throughout the year, some small, disconnected thoughts. I don’t know what comes next for me. And I start thinking that there is no A. in it and I really don’t think I need him as a follower on Instagram. But well, I’ll remove him and unfollow him after we don’t speak for a year that’s for sure.
I have very very little time to finish my research proposals for the PhDs I’m applying for and I can’t get myself to focus on them. I think the reason why is because I haven’t written anything personal for several month. And it stopped me from writing anything else.
This is so different from what I imagined my life would be at 27.
For the first time I returned a ticket, and I won’t be going to Barcelona on my birthday, because I want to focus on applying for PhDs (and also I have a better solar return chart here, thanks mom)
I need to start eating meat again, otherwise I’m stuck with vitamins, pills etc. I noticed that something is wrong when I started losing a lot of hair. And well I couldn’t care less about my diet.
I finished my master’s and I know that I must apply for a good PhD. As long as such possibilities exist, I want to use them, I want to research things that interest me (people, societies) and I want to get paid for that.
I got an offer for a position at a very big IT company here, but went back to my old job because there I’d get the same amount of money but can work remotely. I hope I won’t have nervous breakdowns because of that. I need to figure out how to do it all without big issues on the health side
And of course, the biggest change is F. who cooks so well, who spends time with me, who is very smart, who is very smart, hot and very different to all my previous Cancer-Pisces-Aquarius experiences because he is Aries. Astrology doesn’t count, I know, but still, he is very different from what I’m used to, and it is very refreshing. He motivates me a lot, he is very positive all the time. Also, I can’t believe I’m exclusive with someone??? Like, I can’t go on dates now???
I was surviving on a very little money this year but somehow, I managed to have so much fun and so many trips. I kind of realized I don’t want to travel meaninglessly. And I really want to spend at least a year in Latin America. My obsession with that continent is very visible.
So, I decided to try to spend money as little money as I did last year in the new year and go to Latin America at least for several months if possible.
I was in a call and the guy I work with from the NGO were sharing the ratings for the last year and my rate was the highest, 8/10. I do feel that my years become more and more fun with the time.