Yerevan: մնաց հարյուր քառասունվեց օր / 146 days left

Since I had arrived to Yerevan every Friday-Saturday-Sunday all I've been doing is socializing, going out with family or friends, drinking and coming home around 2 am. I like it. I feel alive. Aaand very sad at the same time.

I met a guy and like him, but he wanted something serious, I wanted a fling. He refused. It was like a slap for me. The kind of slap that wakes you up from dreaming. I have no idea what I'm searching on dating apps. New friends? Good lovers? Cringe Stories? New experiences? It's always been new friends I was after. Maybe with a flair of being potentially together at some point. So, being rejected in a friendship is not a nice feeling.

Not even 30 days have passed since my arrival I've already handed my passport for a new Spanish visa and bought a ticket to Barcelona in November. This time the travel has to be not that long and I have to speak Spanish. I want to see V/ very much, I miss her Que mas and going to the beach. I also want to see and speak to J. about my idea to do a Masters degree in International Relations.

I was crying last night because I was really hurt. A. Him. Again. It's very difficult for me to accept that I'm in love and it is not reciprocal. He wrote to me to tell that his Ukrainian friend noticed me watching her stories. It's funny that he didn't ask me directly how I found her and why did I watch her stories. This part doesn't hurt that much. The part where he doesn't really interact with me except for the times when he wants to know something particular does. He wouldn't ever take time to get to know me and it hurts. He loves his ex and I don't see him being in love or loving someone else in the near future. I'm trying to let it go. I don't want to tell him that I'm going to Barcelona in November. Probably will tell him once I'm there.

Well, I decided to see R. yesterday. I think that we can recreate our fling. Bad idea, but no way to avoid it.