wien
wien
While in Austria, do like ...fascists? I don't know if it is the weather, the German language, the asfixztion I feel the minute I'm in a german-speaking countries or what, but I feel pretty much depressed. I feel like I'm in a dead knot and I'll not get out ever again. I remember the times I felt exactly like that, I remember living alone in a tiny apartment, I remember the summers I had spent taking care of my little brother, I remember traveling without any objective, staying in Switzerland, and all of these memories are tied together by me crying and not seeing anything in the future, everything being grey. I feel like I've never properly recovered from any of these. Here my vicious circle is think about living in Europe -> hating it ->looking at my life now -> hating the place where I live, but sometimes loving that place and it makes it even worse. What should I do to be at peace with the place where I live. I hate making a decision about where to live because I can't find THE place. I was rewatching Zima Blue and the last sentence of Zima is 'I'm home' Cost me a lot not to cry at that point. I want to be home as well, but I can't find it.