The Netherlands: last day

I knew from the start I wouldn't like it here. But my friend was here, and I was tired of traveling alone. I spent six whole days here with her. We drove around a lot in the neighboring towns. We went to all the must-see places in Amsterdam. It's very strange. I don't like the culture, I don't like the city, I don't like anything. It's gray, there's no sun, the people are cold.

In seven days here, I've seen sunshine and blue skies once. The only thing that kept my spirits up was that I was spending time with a friend and we were having fun. We're not really best friends - we've only seen each other three times. But it's so strange to realize that we are from a city that is more than 5 thousand km away from The Hague, where she lives now.

I've realized a lot of things here, it's been a very concentrated journey.

First of all, I'm sick of traveling like this. The only thing worth this traveling is the people I've met.

Secondly, I was constantly afraid that I wouldn't be able to travel anymore. When I was a kid my dream was to travel, but I never went anywhere, my parents didn't have the opportunity, I lived very far away from everywhere - from Europe and from Asia and from Amerika. Now every time I fly somewhere I feel like I've managed to trick someone and sneak into new countries, as if I'm actually forbidden to do so.

Third, I need to do what I want to do, what inspires me, what gives me motivation and incentive to grow, to do something, what makes me valuable in my own eyes. I think enrolling in a master's program is the right decision. Moreover, I would like to apply for a master's program where I can study social society in Armenia. I would like to write a paper on LGBT in Armenia, but I don't even know where to start. Or maybe about sex workers? I don't know yet. What I do know is that I have a lot of hopes related to Yerevan. I see a lot of prospects there. But they can disappear at any moment, so you have to take advantage of this opportunity now, while it's there and not take it for granted. I think I have taken a lot of things for granted in my life.

I'm glad I stayed for seven days and not more, otherwise I would have been really depressed. Now I'm sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to Iceland. Saying hello to my 18 y.o. self, who would never have thought of this in her life.