bochum
bochum
If somebody would ask me what is the difference between you at 20yo and at 27yo, I'd say it's losing the people that you though are going to be there, with you, forever. Or rather - letting them go their way. Being honest with yourself about it - that you can't keep them by your side as much as you'd like, that the few miles that you've walked with them was all there was and it's the finishing point of your journey together. Nothing more. Nothing less.
One of the thing that horrifies me is that sometimes, or most of the times, you don't know that it was the finishing point. It's while looking back afterwards you realise that that was the moment when you two parted and never reconnected again.
And sometimes you cry about it, and sometimes you hate them and other times you hate yourself and you curse the world. You stop believing in fate, in God, in miracles. And these people are not magically coming back to you and the time passes, and year after year you forget what they sound like and sometimes you replay their voice messages and you see them at that moment, but they fade and become more like mythical creatures that may or may not exist.
Most of the time you grieve quietly, day after day.