Barcelona: day once

If you saw a panting girl trying to crawl up to the viewing point yesterday, that was me in the El Guinardó park. Stunning view. Lots of people with their dogs. It's mind-blowing when you see so many green trees, pine trees, and realize that five kilometers away are palm trees and the beach. The atmosphere in the neighbourhood is muy tranquilo. Meaning old people and couples with kids.

^fairytale

I could imagine myself living here. I wish I could stay here with my brother. Several years in the row I've been trying to convince myself that I can survive perfectly on my own. It turned out, I can only survive, but not live a normal fulfilling human life. Moving to another country alone probably isn't the greatest idea, I should admit it.

I still haven't bought a camera, I'm going to the flea market tomorrow with A. to get one. Tomorrow I also want to end all this mating dance with A. and just stop interacting with him for a while. I'm not satisfied with being an under-friend. I don't feel like his friend at all. If we switched places and he came to where I live, I would spend time with him all the time - showing him around, introducing him to my friends, just hanging out with him. Because I want to hang out with him, get to know him. Apparently he's not interested in that. Well then there's no point in me keeping any contact with him and hoping to see him three times a month either. Lord, give me the strength to say all this on Wednesday.