Barcelona: day cuatro

I do not understand who I want to become, who I am, and in general, what I want from the future and how to live further. Complete disorientation in space and time. Simply put, this is a normal condition for a 25 years old person. Another question is why I feel it especially acutely when I move somewhere. Even here, for example, for two months.

^{wishing i could hide from everyone for some time}

I guess when I see so many different people around me, people I can or could become, I start to want to be every one of them at once.

I want to be that girl who is from Gyumri, lives in Riga and now wants to move to Barcelona. I want to be that girl from Belgium who learned to surf in Portugal and has company there and is also moving to Barcelona. I want to be that girl who moved from Argentina to Barcelona and lives with her girlfriend in an apartment overlooking the Sagrada de Familia.

I don't want to be like me now. The girl who came to Barcelona for two months without any plan, hoping that her boss would agree to pay for her language course in Barcelona. Because he won't. Because I really don't want to continue working for this company, but if he pays for my course, I'll just have to do it. That girl who has a friend in Barcelona, but he's very busy with work and so she can only see him once a week from 6pm to 6am. I don't want to be just a sneaky link in his life, I want to really be friends with him. I want to not need a strong connection to someone and not feel everything so close to my heart. I want to know who I am.