Barcelona again, but only for 10 days

More and more often I think about how much I or other people are influenced by the city, place where they live? Is it necessary to go somewhere just because you like living there better? Do you feel better there?

I don't have an answer. I like Barcelona terribly. I like how many people from all over the world are here. I like that there are a lot of Spaniards from other parts of Spain. I like that feminism and lgbtc rights are not just a concept here. I like that people are mostly friendly and calm. I love that I have explored this city and walked thousands of kilometers through the streets. I love the endless fairs, movie and music festivals.

I hate Placa de Catalunya and La Rambla, it's always crowded. I don't like that the city sometimes feels like a train, with new passengers coming and going and few people staying for long, so you have to know how long the other person plans to stay. I don't like that you have to watch out for your phone all the time. The things I don't like are the things I'm willing to put up with. They're not that important.

The most important thing is that I'm afraid I won't grow. In Yerevan, as it is in the process of dramatic positive changes, I can influence the spheres that are important to me. I can join the LGBTQ community to make life better for people like me. I can come to the Women's Support Center with ideas and see what we can improve. In Barcelona, I can lie on the beach 10 months a year. I can go out for hikes on the weekend. Go to festival movies, go to raves that last two days. But that's it.

I don't see how I can find that sense of fulfillment here. It's not enough for me to just feel happy. That feeling has to be meaningful.