Arty?

I've always loved art - something beautiful, unusual, sad and pleasing to an eye. Everything that looks just right, that fits in so nicely that you can hardly imagine that the artist could have doubt themselves creating it. Yes, sometimes I have this tendency to over-idealise things. But don't we all do it from time to time?

What touches me deeply in an art piece is the pain. I always imagine the artist going through really hard time, being frustrated, wanting to give up and go have a normal job. Still, they can't do it. They are possessed by their art, they live in it, they breath through it, they can't not do it. It is who they are. Their pain is their art. I think it is absolutely beautiful that humans can actually do that - create themselves in something.

I want to be an artist really bad. But I'm really shy to call myself an artistic or a creative person. Because I am not really these things. Those people, who paint, who sing, who take photos - they are the artists. I'm just watching them and sharing their pain.