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how unlikely it was that id be here, eating empanades, looking at the scenery and thinking about how i miss yerevan and f. I feel anger, envy, sadness, uslessness and my self-confidence is reaching the absolute low. I feel like I don't deserve things, I feel like things I deserve are not supposed to be deserved??? I feel like every choice I made in my late 20s was wrong. I feel like I need to keep going and I need to stop at the same time. I feel like everything that could be wrong with me is wrong with me. I'm still imagining barcelona. i want to live there still. nothing changed. i saw buenis aires yes, but i want to live in barcelona. All the different ways of living and my way of living is the most stupid one.